why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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