Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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