Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
