you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We talked him into tasing himself.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
