You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
