oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
