a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize