Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
