Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
