I just made out with a guy for $7.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
