Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
