I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Still dying that you shit outside
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
The air taste purple.
Randomize
