i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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