She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
two words...techno handjob
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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