It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize