i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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