So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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