I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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