I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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