She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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