Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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