did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
