Me. At least after what I've been through.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
