She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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