Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
