How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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