When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
