I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
