A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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