If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
