my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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