dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
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Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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