Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
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Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
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I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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