nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Randomize
