No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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