Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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