Whod you bang
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
