after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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