I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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