Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
