if i died would you start the facebook group?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
