no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
