I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
