Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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