If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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