I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
