if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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