So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
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There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
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All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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