How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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