This girl is more easily done than said...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
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It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come share oat with me in your robe
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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