i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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