Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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