My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
