you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
