the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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