whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
