Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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