btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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