Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize