I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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