took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
