we're blogging at a bar
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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