I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
