you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
