Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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