I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
