i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
