well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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